I was trying to find some information about a military spouse problem I was having and came across this letter. I dont remember where it came from, or who wrote it, or where I found it, but I saved it in my computer to share with my family and friends, and now I would like to share it with others who really dont know what we go through, or dont quite know how to express their gratitude to the military and their family members.
A Letter to a Military Spouse (I cried through almost the entire thing)
While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you or your husband, I felt the need to write you and express a very deep feeling that I have in my heart.
I, as a person, am not brave. I do not tackle things head on, as I hate confrontation. I will travel 100 miles out of my way just to avoid a conflict. I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.
I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.
I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.
I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.
I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.
I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home. I have never had to deal with a holiday
away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with. And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.
For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel. I can not tell you that you must be strong. I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man". I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.
What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - - I will never have to walk in your shoes.
I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other women. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.
You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.
I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.
Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.
Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.
Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what it is today. You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
Because of you and your family...I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday. I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.
I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me.... And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.
You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.
May God Bless You!
(Author Unknown)
10 Ways Civilians Can Support Our Troops
Yellow ribbons and flags are just the beginning. Support the troops by supporting their families.
1 – Thank the spouses for their sacrifices
Write a letter to the editor, say it out loud, send a card, or leave a yellow rose. Just keep it short and simple. Intense feelings of sadness and fear lie just beneath the surface of even the strongest-looking homefront spouse, and too much emotional sympathy, or worse, pity, may undo their hard-won self-control. They may not appreciate it if you make them burst into tears in public.
2 – Leave opinions about the war at the door
Military spouses are as diverse in their beliefs as civilians are. But, unlike civilians, military spouses may be relying on their beliefs about the war, for or against, to help them cope with the fear and sadness they feel while their loved one is in harm's way. Try not to rob them of that comfort. Instead, just listen.
3 – Donate to organizations that support service members and their families
Visit www.defendamerica.mil and click on "Support Our Troops" for a long list of worthy organizations.
4 – Friends, family members, and neighbors can give them a break
During deployment, homefront life is often isolated and grueling. Make your offers of help specific — invite them to dinner, offer to mow the lawn, or arrange to watch the kids for an evening.
5 – Employers can give military spouses more flexible hours
Before, during, and immediately after a deployment, the spouses' home demands have doubled during this time. If activated National Guard members and reservists have to take a cut in pay while they're deployed, employers can make up the difference and reduce the financial stress on the family. And employers can actively recruit and hire veterans, especially disabled veterans.
6 – Educators and daycare providers can turn to the Military Child Education Coalition
Visit www.militarychild.org to learn how to help children facing a parent's deployment.
7 – Professional organizations can offer pro bono services
For example, some lawyers in Vermont donated free legal services to families with a deployed service member.
8 – Develop support groups and social events in clubs and places of worship
A deployed family member's absence may be extra hard around the holidays, and social events can help fill the void. Symbolic support means a lot, too. One group made blankets for local preschoolers with a deployed parent to keep their favorite toys warm and safe — the way their parents were keeping them safe — and to remind them that many people in their town were thinking about them.
9 – Book groups can invite military spouses for a joint discussion of While They're at War
Getting together will help you to better understand your military while helping the military spouses connect with the local community, especially if they're new in town. If you don't know any military spouses, try contacting family readiness groups or enlisted and officers' spouses clubs at the nearest National Guard armory or military installation. And during your get-together, do not forget suggestion 2! (See above.)
10 – Stay engaged!
Make sure your military reflects the country you want America to be. Pay attention when military issues come up in the news, compare information from a variety of sources, write letters to the editor, and hold your elected leaders accountable for how they use your military and how well they support the warfighters, families, and veterans who serve you.
10 Ways Military Spouses Can Find Help and Support
1 – Military OneSource
An information hotline that's available 24/7. Get answers to anything, from how to find childcare providers to plumbers to referrals for free confidential counseling with a therapist outside the military system. Call 1.800.342.9647 or visit www.militaryonesource.com.
2 – Community services center
Most military installations have one. It's the central resource for all family support services, including military relief organizations such as Army Emergency Relief. Call information for the number or ask for directions at the gate and just walk in.
3 – Family support programs
Most units have a group of spouse volunteers who can connect you with support services and social activities. If they haven't called you already, they probably don't know you're out there. Call the unit headquarters and they'll be glad to put you in touch.
4 – Rear detachment or rear party
These are the military personnel that every unit leaves behind when it deploys. Visit or call the unit's headquarters for help and referrals.
5 – Chaplains
They provide confidential counseling and referrals. Talk to the chaplain in your unit, at a chapel on base, or at the family life or religious ministries center. Keep looking until you find one with whom you're comfortable.
6 – Military health clinics
The staff can set you up with a whole network of services. To maximize the help you receive, be sure to tell them if you're there for a deployment-related issue.
7 – Schools
Talk with your child's teachers and guidance counselor for support and referrals. If they don't have information, they can probably find out who does.
8 – On-line
Visit www.deploymentconnections.org for official deployment support resources. Join an advocacy group such as the National Military Family Association (www.nmfa.org). Or for informal support, join an on-line group at www.militarywives.com (it's for husbands, too), or search for groups centered around specific military installations at msn.com and yahoo.com.
9 – Senior military spouses
They've been through it before and can provide advice and encouragement.
10 – Community organizations
If you're reluctant about getting help from another person in uniform, try a civilian church, temple, or mosque; a community counseling center; or a service such as the GI Rights Hotline (1.800.394.9544).
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