1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?” (This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.)
2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.” (This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying.)
3. “What are you going to do/have you been doing, to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?” ( Try to keep my sanity. - Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. We find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy.)
4. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?” (This one is annoying to many of us who's spouse is deployed... they aren’t counting down the days until they can get out, they're just focused on missing they're family and trying to stay alive).
5. “My husband had to go away for a business trip once - for three weeks...so I totally know what you’re going through.” (Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to where ever he went, with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D. Your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to. He flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it.) This is definitely one of my favorites, lol.
6. “Wow you must miss him?” (This one also gets another big “duh”. Of course we miss them. There may be some spouses who don't/didnt, and now they’re divorced.)
7. “Where is he exactly? Where is that?” (I don’t expect non-military folks to be able to find Kirkuk on a map, but they should know by now that it’s in Iraq. I think they should know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it's located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they’re on the news every night on T.V. and the internet.)
8. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!” (hmmm, let me think, Einstien! No, I don’t miss sex - I’m a robot! Military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices and seeing their faces. The hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)
9. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry your going through that!” (He’s doing his job and he’s tough. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)
I, by all means, am not posting these top rated comments on my blog for a negative reason. I rcv'd them in an email the other day, and while reading them thought to myself "This is so true". I recognize the fact that people merely say things like these because they care. They're not actually THINKING that it might bother us. They probably dont even know that we've heard them all before. I think they're just wanting to know things about this life - MY life - my Army Wife life. Since my husband has been deployed, I have probably faced many different people who at random have asked me or said all of these things, at one point or another, over a dozen times. And I'm sure many other military spouses out there feel the same way. I think one of the reasons why we dont like to keep hearing these same questions/comments is because it makes us start thinking...missing...and worrying about our deployed soldier. For example, I was at my niece's softball game today and an old friend from highschool came up to me (who is also a friend on my facebook) and said "Hey girl, how are you? So when is your husband coming home?" In all honesty, I wasnt even thinking about my husband being in Iraq at that exact moment...my mind was concentrated more on my niece and how well she was doing pitching. So ofcourse then the conversation becomes all about my husband, and how I'm keeping myself busy while he's gone. It's just another reason why people call us "Strong". Because even though we eat, sleep, and breathe keeping our husbands motivated and focused on the job at hand, we're always gonna have a little bit more strength to spare when people remind us, some how, that our soldiers aren't at home with us.
I am not perfect by any means, nor do I try to be. I am an Army Wife.
Lord, please keep my soldier safe.
